Be Still

Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen – that stillness becomes a radiance. Morgan Freeman

My husband is on a business trip. He takes a lot of business trips, but this one is a longer one than usual. I decided it would be the perfect time to visit my family in the suburbs, so Gigi and I are staying at my mom’s (aka Granny’s) house.

Gigi adjusted to her new surroundings pretty well. It seems as long as this girl gets her naps in she’s a pretty happy baby. She is also in that glorious stage where she sleeps in till about eight or nine o’clock and it is wonderful.

Except this morning. Today she had other plans for us.

She woke up around 6:45am, so I changed her, fed her, hoping she’d go back down and give me a few more hours of rest. After she ate she was drowsy so I laid her back in her bed and tried going back to sleep myself. A few quiet minutes later I hear her adorable ‘coo’. I look over and she is staring back at me, eyes wide open with her silly smile.

That is the insane thing about being a parent. You are absolutely exhausted all because of this one little being. But the second they smile your heart melts and you forget why you were ever tired at all.

Normally I’d let her hang out for a bit, thinking possibly she’d fall asleep. But I saw her face and knew that look, she was awake awake. She wasn’t going back down.

So I scoop her up into bed with me. I’m planning and plotting in my head; maybe I can entertain her for an hour and not have to get up? Can I sing silly songs for an hour? Probably. I remember when she was a newborn and would sleep on my chest. Those were the days; she wiggles too much to do that now.

While I’m stuck in my head trying to figure out how to solve this ‘problem’ I look over and my gorgeous girl, with her head cradled in my arm, is staring out the window.

Granny has much bigger windows than we do in our city apartment. And the light pouring out from them is magical. Her house backs up to the woods and our window is the perfect height that when you are laying in bed all you see is the green of the leaves. Every so often you can see a bird fly through the branches. Sometimes it’s a little brown bird, one time it was a black and orange bird. They fly so fast if you blink you could miss it, and the only way you would know it flew by would be the fluttering of the leaves.

I wondered if Gigi could see all that, the birds and the leaves. Or maybe she just liked looking at the light?

This whole time Gigi had hardly budged. She moved her arm and her hand a little, like she was playing with the air. Every so often she would turn her head back to look at me. Almost as if she was making sure I was there, and seeing what she saw.

After awhile I realized we had been laying there for quite some time, and figured since she hadn’t moved at all she must have fallen asleep. I leaned over far enough to see her face, and she was still wide awake. Perfectly still, just enjoying the view.

 be still

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve slept in that guest bedroom, I’ve never noticed how nice the view is. And here I had this three month old baby in my arms who figured it out.

Sometimes you need to wake up early and look out the window at the birds in the trees.

Lesson learned.

Dedicate to and in loving memory of Amy Elizabeth Foley

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