A Practice Returning

Each of us has a fire in our hearts for something. It’s our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit. -Mary Lou Retton

If you read my last post Take Care of Yourself you know that I have made a commitment to, as the title suggests, taking better care of myself. I’ve gotten off to an okay start. I’m not exactly cooking veggie filled gourmet meals every day, but I’m getting better. The biggest thing I’d say I’ve done is taking time out for myself and returning to the things I loved to do before my daughter was born. Specifically yoga & meditation.

Before I got pregnant I had a wonderful job at a yoga studio, which led me to attend and complete an even more wonderful Yoga Teacher Training (YTT). I taught for a few months before I found out I was pregnant and plans changed.

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Ahimsa

“I believe much trouble and blood would be saved if we opened our hearts more.” – Chief Joseph

Last night I checked my Facebook around 9 PM and read an update from a friend regarding looting, and another update expressing concern for the police. I immediately understood I was missing a major breaking news story and turned on CNN. All eyes were on Ferguson.

I started watching the news after the verdict announcement was made, and just before the real rioting started. I watched the crowds get tear gassed, I watched the flash bangs. I watched people running in fear. Every reporter was visibly shaken, it was impossible to be calm. Cars were on fire, buildings were on fire. I was in tears watching the scene unfold and I wasn’t even there. The violence and anger were real, and I could feel it.

I went back to Facebook and saw even more updates on Ferguson. Mostly people’s opinions on the matter. And they were angry. SO angry. People judging and cursing the protesters. Other people judging and cursing the people judging and cursing the protesters. Posting articles that proved only their opinion was right. Sharing pictures and memes attacking the ‘other’ side’s view point. The violence and anger were real, and I could feel it.

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On Roller Coasters

When it was dark, you always carried the sun in your hand for me.
― Seán O’Casey

 

I haven’t written a new blog in a while. Sometimes it is just hard to be inspired. The day-to-day tasks of life can make a week, or even a month go by before you know it. The truth is, day-to-day life isn’t the only thing influencing my lack of inspiration.

When I originally started this blog I was attempting to share the lessons I was learning from the crazy adventure of motherhood. Motherhood is typically brought on with the help of another person. More often than not that person is your chosen partner in life, at least in my case it is. You and your partner are (usually) in love, in a committed relationship and going through the ups and downs of life together. Which brings me to my reason for finally posting, I’m sharing a lesson I’ve learned on love.

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Be Present

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. – Edward Everett Hale

I have been writing this post for a few weeks it seems. Well, technically I wasn’t writing anything down, it was all in my head. But I’ve had the intention of writing this post for weeks, that much I know. I just haven’t had the energy, the inspiration or the desire to actually sit down and get this all out. Tonight my house is quiet, I’ve made myself a cup of chamomile tea and I’m getting to work.

You see, Gigi is starting the teething phase. And while I can’t exactly blame Gigi teething for my lack of posting, it is definitely a contributor. All my energy was going to trying to help her feel better. I tried almost every ‘remedy’ I could find. Tylenol and those dissolving teething pellets didn’t seem to make much of a difference. Out of all the chewy teether thingies I bought her, I’ve narrowed it down to the two she loves the most. Sophie the giraffe is a regular in the rotation obviously. I even ordered her one of those amber necklaces (with a matching bracelet for me of course) in a moment of despair.

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Lessons

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Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind they can change our world. – Buddha

I’ve only been a mom for three months. Yet in those three months I feel like I’ve learned so much about motherhood, life, love, myself, others, the world… you get it. I’m very aware I am on a life long journey where I will learn more than I can imagine right now. The road ahead of me is full of mistakes to be made and lessons to be learned. But today I stand in the discovery that I’ve changed. My daughter and all the experiences we have shared in three short months, have reaffirmed things I knew before and opened my eyes to so much more.

Throughout the past three months, more often than once, I’ve found my mind asking me “What can you learn from this?” Taking care of a newborn is a whirlwind. You have some crazy highs and even crazier lows. It is one of the most rewarding experiences life offers to us. I’ve realized you can either let it overwhelm and stifle you, or you can let it guide you and help you grow. I’ve chosen the latter.

If the Internet is for one thing; it is for sharing our moments. Our experiences, our struggles, our joys. So as a little “project” for myself, each week I will post a lesson I’ve learned since becoming a mother. I already have about 15 lessons running through my head right now, but I’m mindfully delaying sharing each lesson so I can make sure I get it right.

I would love your feedback. Challenging or supportive, I welcome it all. Maybe you have a lesson you would like to share? Let me know! I’m excited to have people read this blog who aren’t parents and see how the lessons we’ve learned apply to their lives too.

I’d like to make one thing very clear – I do not think I am a parenting expert, at all.
I’m just expressing myself.

I’m sure each of us can attest to feelings of isolation at times, regardless of how many friends we have online. And I’ve realized being a new mom can amplify that isolation incredibly. My intention is not only use this as an outlet to connect with other parents, but also as a way to simply share my experiences. As a way to process this amazing, difficult, miraculous new life I’m living.

My hope is perhaps one person will feel less alone, less overwhelmed or less insecure after reading one of these lessons. For what are we put on this Earth to do if not to lift each other up?

Please, join me on this journey.

Namaste.